PRESS START

Patient Sixty-Seven are preparing for a new era but before we look at where this Australian metalcore band are off to, let’s press rewind. Frontman Tom Kiely and the band’s newest sacrifice…. bassist Lachlan Walters, both have long histories with gaming but their respective save files reveal two pretty different players!

Every true gamer remembers “their first”, the nostalgia floods back…

Riff & Respawn: I know you’re into retro gaming, so what was the console or game that properly started it all for you?

Tom: Oh, it was PlayStation for sure. I picked up the game Hercules when I was maybe five or six. I absolutely loved it. From there, I think I got my first-ever Game Boy and Pokémon Yellow. That game brought me so much joy and made me a huge Pokémon fan all through primary school and beyond!

I remember “catching” Pokémon Yellow, Red and Blue myself, on those chunky little plastic cartridges that came in a cardboard box with that stunning artwork that drew you in immediately. It looked SO cool and felt like actually choosing your starter Pokémon as you do in the game… but in store! The big Pikachu sticker that, the more you played would slightly fade and scratch as you pushed it into the big clunky Gameboy slot. You’d have to give it a good blow so that the game would actually register after a while, something kids today don’t have any idea about but was pretty common with early consoles and handhelds! Wow I sound like a Grandpa… “KIDS TODAY JUST DON’T KNOW HOW GOOD THEY HAVE IT!” shakes stick angrily.

I can definitely relate to being a Poke-fan… I went to watch the film when it first came out and had to have EVERYTHING Pokémon…. lunch box, clothing, plush toys and the bloody cards! My poor Mother helping my brother and I trade them at after-school clubs so we didn’t get swindled!

Pokémon games were generally a solo adventure but gaming is also very much a family affair…

Riff & Respawn: What was the game for you growing up? The one where hearing the menu music or loading screen now would instantly throw you back there?

Lachlan: Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 3. That game is my entire childhood. My earliest memories are doing Tournament mode with my two older brothers, or even just versing each other.

Ah yes… siblings, telling Mum we’d play nicely and then swiftly turning it into a family rivalry set to last a lifetime. Mine started with Spyro The Dragon, my brother definitely had over his allotted time on “his go” because he was younger, I was the one who managed to do the tough bits, let it be known!

Tom also played the Budokai games so the band’s gaming choices seem to be a pretty good match… SO FAR!

CONTINUE?

I don’t think childhood games ever truly leave us, it’s not about the cartridge you put into the console, it’s the emotion you reminisce about years later. Those highest-of-high moments when you- well, me… finally catch that egg thief in Spyro or when you beat your brother in Crash Team Racing for the one and only time!

The tragedies don’t sting as much in hindsight. Failing the same jump for the 50th time is now family lore rather than evidence of something you couldn’t do - especially if you return and finally conquer it when you’re older. I still remember making it across those bloody giraffe necks in The Lion King as an adult. I could NEVER manage it as a child and it made me physically cry., more than once, regardless of age… but let’s pretend that didn’t happen AGAIN when I was 38!!!

Riff & Respawn: I hear you’re a pretty big gamer, so let’s start with the dangerous question… What are you playing at the moment, and what game has completely taken over your life the most over the years?

Lachlan: Currently, I’m playing the new NBA 2K27 and I’ve actually been really enjoying it. I fell out of love with the franchise with the launch of 2K23, but this year’s one has made me fall back in love with it.
I also have a love/hate relationship with League of Legends.
The game that has taken over my life over the years is, hands down, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. I have loved that game since it came out, and it’s by far my favourite game of all time. I do wish I’d kept my old consoles because, between them and my PC, I’d love to see how many hours I’ve sunk into it over the years. My guess would have to be close to 3,000 hours.

What could you accomplish in 3,000 hours?! They say it takes 10,000 hours to learn a new skill, so you’re not far off “getting good” at Skyrim, Lachlan!

I’ve never played League of Legends, but whenever I mention it, seasoned players look at me as though they’re about to tell me a story about the life they once knew - before the game sent them into the trenches and they found themselves at war! This is quickly followed by “DON’T.”, when I ask whether I should start playing it…

I think that’s the biggest difference between the boys’ childhood games and their experiences now. Modern gaming can drag you into sprawling and seemingly never-ending landscapes; our horizons have definitely expanded since running around as Ash Ketchum!

Riff & Respawn: What old game can you still pick up now and completely lose a few hours to?

Tom: There are a fair few. I love going back to the older Grand Theft Auto titles and older sports titles. I’ve definitely replayed the Tekken series and Dragon Ball Z: Budokai games a fair bit as well. I’m usually more likely to pick up my emulators and play older titles than I am to play brand-new games, but that’s mainly because I enjoy the nostalgia and find I’m a bit time-poor to do much more than that!

Not Tom describing himself as time-poor and then Lachlan running round stealing bread in Skyrim for 3,000 hours!

I think emulation is really convenient for picking up old games. Many titles in physical form are now difficult while ageing cartridges and discs don’t always work as reliably as they did when they were new.

There’s something I really miss about owning shelves of physical media - a sort of trophy wall showing yourself, your friends and your family how “cool” and “talented” you were for having played them all! That didn’t necessarily mean you’d completed them though…

It’s sad to think that the days of friends coming round and browsing that library of fun - choosing the game you’d all play until the early hours, with the TV muted after Mum went to bed so she wouldn’t catch you awake on a school night… are becoming history! Then came diving under the covers when she realised the light beneath the door wasn’t the TV anymore: it was daylight! OOPS!

Riff & Respawn: Do you still collect old consoles and physical games, or are you happy enough with remasters and emulation now?

Tom: I used to be a huge Nintendo 64 collector, up until a few years ago. Nowadays, I mainly stick to emulators, but I really do want to get back into more modern gaming as well. There are so many amazing titles out there that I’ve wanted to play but haven’t had the chance to. I’m definitely a casual gamer, and my skill level has usually reflected that.

I don’t think being a casual gamer matters if you enjoy yourself! Games today can be increasingly difficult to enter, often spanning years of deep lore, levelling, farming and crafting before you even reach the endgame - and requiring more than a little time to perfect/GET GOOD at!

Playing with friends has largely moved online where groups may already have been active in a game for years. It can feel rather difficult for a newer player trying to understand what’s happening while their self appointed “teacher” throws enormous chunks of lore at them with great speed and even greater enthusiasm - from my experience!

Modern games may clash with Tom’s ideal of doing more with less. These days, even the hardware needed to run most new releases comes at a hefty price, before you consider all the advanced technology required to make things look REAL. Gone are the days when games like my favourite, Monkey Island, only asked you to point, click and devise some excellent sword fighting insults…“How appropriate, you fight like a cow!”

Riff & Respawn: I always think older games had so much character because they had to do more with less. Is there anything you think gaming has actually lost over the years?

Tom: Maybe it’s because I am a bit more of a casual gamer, but I just think simpler is often better. The control schemes, the objectives—less can be more. I also think the whole microtransaction element of games, even in more recent titles I play like the NBA 2K series, can be a bit much. I don’t think gaming has been improved by the overreliance on pay-to-play.

Having played World of Warcraft for years, I’m familiar with paying a subscription just to access a game, Then there are titles such as Destiny 2 which became notorious for adding microtransactions to in-game items… I totally agree.

When you buy a game, you should be able to enjoy it fully. Optional extras and proper expansions are one thing, but you shouldn't have to pay again to access something you’ve already bought.

New players don’t always understand what these transactions involve and, take it from me, once you start purchasing - a name-change here, a character migration there, cool skin for your ‘toon - it can swiftly mount up!

Riff & Respawn: What’s your most cursed retro-gaming memory? Broken controllers, impossible bosses, deleted saves, blowing into cartridges… I want the trauma.

Tom: I remember when I was about seven, I was playing Star Wars on PS1. It was before autosave, and my sister, who was maybe two at the time, accidentally turned the console off just as I’d finally beaten the level I’d been stuck on. That was tough. I don’t think I recovered from that as quickly as I should have!

Autosave is one of gaming’s greatest inventions, but do I trust it enough not to manually save too? Never, I’ve been burnt by that before!

I wonder how long it took for Tom to forgive his sister?! If he has, he’s a better person than me! I still hold grudges and have vengeance to take on my brother for some of his childhood “decisions”.

Disastrous gaming moments become hilarious in hindsight because, at the time, they’re all that matters. We’ve been stuck on that level or we’ve lost a save file and it feels like the worst thing imaginable because it’s FRUSTRATING! The memory mellows with time as we realise that maybe we didn’t need to rage quit QUITE so spectacularly… Apparently it wasn’t that serious… until the next time we face a similar fate!

Some memories leave scars. Others quietly change the course of your life - and, in Lachlan’s case, shape the music you grow up loving!

WHEN HEAVY MUSIC MEETS GAMING

Growing up I really felt like an outsider with my love of gaming and alternative music, I was a tomboy already so I’d often be bullied for my love of skate culture and wearing my Vans Rowleys to school!

Everyone seemed to be into the new pop band, there was me, listening to my tapes, recorded from Kerrang! radio eventually using Limewire (sorry!) to burn my favourite songs onto a metal mixtape. Blank CDs were such a cool present back then!

I’d be called a nerd for loving anything to do with technology and being a “scene kid” mean’t my eyeliner wings were longer than my tolerance to everyday bullshit, my tights were ripped and my fringe sharp enough to have its own warning label, with ABSOLUTELY. NO. GAPS. I wish I’d had as much of a hold on my life as hairspray had on my ‘do!

The local internet cafe “Surfers” was where I found my people, I could listen to the latest rock music with other “outcasts”, all while enjoying games of Halo in multiplayer! Those poor Warthog’s when I got my hands on them!

RIff & Respawn: I’m fascinated by how much heavy music and gaming overlap. Why do you think metalcore kids and gamers seem to find each other so naturally?

Lachlan: I’d say it probably comes from both understanding what it feels like to be a social outcast, I guess. I know for me personally, growing up and being a gamer already made me somewhat of an outlier to most of my peers—and then add screaming music over the top; most people thought I was mental 🤣

I definitely think that people being labelled earlier in life can lead people to build the strongest communities, because they KNOW what it feels like not to fit in anywhere else. The niche music and gaming communities seem to have woven themselves together and I love that!

Riff & Respawn: Has a game ever influenced you creatively beyond just enjoying it? Maybe a soundtrack, a world, the atmosphere or even the way a story was told?

Lachlan: I’d have to say Need for Speed: Underground 2 for the soundtrack, because that was probably my first introduction to heavy music. BFMV and Skindred were on that soundtrack, which then heavily shaped the music I went on to listen to.

I have so much to thank in game soundtracks for! From Tony Hawk to Forza Horizon…. the list of artists I’ve discovered through them is endless. Even if I already know the band, there are often songs I haven’t found yet that end up being played on repeat because I hear them in a new way in game - usually while doing something mad!

Riff & Respawn: Patient Sixty-Seven have always had a really emotional side underneath the heaviness. Games are getting much better at dealing with grief, isolation, identity and mental health too. Is there a game story that’s genuinely stayed with you after you finished it?

Lachlan: Red Dead Redemption 2, definitely. The ending broke me for days after I finished it.

We DON’T talk about that ending. WOW. I, too, was broken and I’m not sure I’ll recover…

Without wanting to spoil future playthroughs for my readers… I’ve been emotionally scarred by characters’ storylines in MORE than one game and it often leads to REAL grief. We become attached to the fun and invested in these games. Then, usually with the game-makers knowing FULL well it’ll crush a generation, they put the characters through some truly awful struggles: they leave, or they’re never the same as they once were.

Unlike film, maybe more like EXTENDED TV series, we watch these characters go through hell and are with them every step of the way, sometimes even controlling them THROUGH it, even if all we can offer is WASD movement or a few button presses.

We also DON’T talk about Cayde-6 cries big girly tears

PLOT TWISTS AND PLAYER PROFILES

Do I prefer everything to fall into place or an ending that leaves me deep-diving into theories and arguing with friends and family about what it means? If I’m being honest, it depends. I love following a film closely enough to see what’s happening before the end or being completely blindsided by the outcome - but I also love trying to figure out which fork in the road a film has led us down. Is there a correct answer? No… While the director may have had an intended answer, some films leave you contemplating it forever.

Riff & Respawn: I have to ask about Shutter Island because it’s one of those films people can argue about forever. What do you think actually happened at the end?

Tom: Love this question! I personally think that Andrew—yes, that’s who Leo is playing—just comes to terms with the fact he’ll never truly get over the pain of losing his family. It was easier for him to live in his illusions, and he chose to die under the pretense that he wasn’t cured. I think he knew what his reality was at the end; he just didn’t want to face it.

"Which would be worse: to live as a monster, or to die as a good man?" I agree, I think Andrew realises the truth and fully commits to pretending he has relapsed, walking confidently towards his lobotomy because he has internally answered that question.

Those who’ve seen the film will understand that reference. What I cannot quite believe is that someone in a band called Patient Sixty-Seven… LACHLAN! Hasn’t seen the bloody film!!! I’m going to bully him relentlessly until this changes.

Riff & Respawn: I HAVE to bring up Shutter Island because it’s exactly the kind of film people can argue about for hours afterwards. What’s your take on the ending, IF YOU DARE, ha! And do you like films or games that leave you sitting there afterwards thinking, “What the hell actually happened?”

Lachlan: I’ve got to be honest, I’ve never actually seen Shutter Island 😭 I do love a twist ending, though, so I should probably get onto watching it.

Well it looks as though Tom will be searching for ANOTHER new bassist, because I officially revoke Lachlan’s interview privileges!!!! He DOES however get points back for loving twist endings… I’ll withhold my FULL judgement… for now.

Riff & Respawn: Give me your personal pop-culture menu: one game, one film, one album and one fictional character that tells me everything I need to know about Lachlan.

Lachlan: For the game, I’ve gotta go Skyrim. Movie would be Van Helsing, the 2004 movie with Hugh Jackman. Album has to be Scream Aim Fire deluxe edition by Bullet for My Valentine, purely for the song “Ashes of the Innocent”, and fictional character—gotta go with Arthur Morgan.

I think I see why the ending broke Lachlan if he’s an Arthur-stan! I approve! Something about these choices makes me think that Lachlan wouldn’t feel out of place in some olde-school fantasy world, with strong heroes fighting for justice against a LOT of oppression! You can almost imagine Van Helsing in Tamriel jumping down from a mediaeval-style church and kicking ass to the double bass kicks of Ashes of the Innocent. I’d copyright that idea now, Lachlan!

May be an image of turnstile, crowd and text that says "Irene- This Thisisnotmusc.itsverydisurbighe is not music! It's very disturbing. The sound of a demon possessed person. 1d Like Reply Message Hide"

PLAYING ON HARD MODE

Life isn’t all fun and games, sadly. When we turn the console off - real life and all of the shit that comes with it - can quickly come knocking. I wrote these questions for Tom without any expectation of receiving answers but I am extremely moved by his openness and willingness to respond to them at all, let alone with such detail.

Recovery doesn’t mean becoming someone entirely new; it’s often about finally learning to accept who we already are.

Riff & Respawn: You’ve been really open about sobriety and recovery. Looking back, do you feel like you understand yourself differently now than you did before getting sober?

Tom: I think it’s more about accepting who I am and understanding my flaws. I’m trying to be a better person, but recognising that it takes time. I am learning to be kinder to myself and not mask every negative emotion I have. It’s about trying my best to embrace those ups and downs of my true self and work through them. Doing the work is the hard part. But I’m really grateful that’s what I get to work towards, and over time that adds up to becoming a better version of myself without drowning every emotion out.

Sitting with emotion is often harder than masking or “drowning” it. It can be so easy to reach for something to blind yourself to the real problems and pretend they don’t exist. It doesn’t have to be alcohol, there are many ways people “cope”. I think there’s something INCREDIBLY brave in actually doing the work, especially when it’s behind closed doors and not everyone can see it.

Being kinder to yourself sometimes requires a hell of a lot more strength than punishing yourself. As someone who’s recently been through a course of cognitive restructuring therapy with a psychologist to change these destructive inner voices that tell me I’m not good enough, I commend and respect Tom, MASSIVELY. To then talk this openly about it… I haven’t got the words, that’s one awesome motherfucker in my book.

Riff & Respawn: Has sobriety changed the way you experience being in a band? Touring, shows, stress, writing—all of it?

Tom: Yes, absolutely. I just process things differently. I’m not as manic; I can be more level-headed and operate day to day with more motivation and passion. When I was using, it was very inconsistent. I needed that outlet to function, really, and that’s a challenging place to be—the more you engage there, the harder it becomes. The sickness, the hangovers, the stress, the lack of mental clarity. As our band has traditionally been very DIY, that had a huge impact. I couldn’t get much done; I stopped caring about outcomes. It just means I can show up for myself in a more meaningful way now, and the band is something I actively choose to put time into.

A DIY band requires work FAR beyond performing - being able to show up consistently means committing fully to the absolute grind involved in every aspect, from marketing and promo to answering silly questions from random journalists… ahem.

I think having something you love - in Tom’s case, the band - can be a real anchor when recovering from different kinds of trauma. I’ve found writing extremely cathartic but it also carries a lot of pressure, and if you’re not feeling 100 percent, the walls can come crashing down pretty quickly. Learning to pace yourself is such an important skill, and regaining motivation takes time, but when you do… WOW. It’s like that super power you lost for a moment, comes rushing back through your veins. It starts with consistency: showing up for that one thing that gives you hope and drive, without burning yourself out again, in the process of finding yourself.

Riff & Respawn: You’ve spoken about losing some of your love for music for a while. Was there a moment when you realised it was coming back, or was it more gradual?

Tom: Probably more gradual, but while starting to record the album at the end of last year, I felt like there was a spark coming back. It was almost like, “Yeah, you’re not quite done. Don’t give up,” and I trusted that instinct.

Restarting my journalism felt like that spark reigniting for me. Passion can survive trauma, illness and everything else, but in my experience, it became temporarily buried and it felt too out of reach to dig out. Trusting that tiny spark is so important, what does “ready” even look like? Do I need to be completely ready to use it again, or is following it part of what healing looks like? Maybe it means using that spark to light the way through the darkness until everything becomes radiant - BECAUSE you helped it grow, instead of waiting for it to lead you somewhere.

Riff & Respawn: I deal with body dysmorphia myself, so I wanted to ask this carefully. Has your relationship with your body changed through recovery and sobriety?

Tom: Slowly. I have a long way to go. I really mistreated myself physically and mentally, so I’m climbing those hurdles. I can look at myself in the mirror again and not recoil. It’s taking time, but I feel sobriety gives me the tools to work through those issues. I know that it’s improving, and that’s worth a lot.

“Not recoiling” is such a devastatingly honest description. I feel that when I look into the mirror. Even though I think you’re bloody gorgeous, Tom, someone else’s words matter little when your brain is clouding your own judgement and telling you that person is “just complimenting you to be nice”.

Being perceived out and about is a huge thing for me. I wonder whether people are judging me the way I judge myself for things that my rational brain knows matter very little. We certainly wouldn’t speak about someone else like that, so why do we do it to ourselves?! If only it were that easy, huh. Being ON STAGE - the LEAD SINGER, no less! That is MONUMENTAL, Tom.

Recognising improvement is hugely important because recovery isn’t linear, let alone PROMISED. Recovery can feel like a pendulum: you’re not going to feel fantastic all the time, but hopefully, in time, those swings in your self worth, become less extreme.

Riff & Respawn: Do you find being a frontman makes body image harder? You’re constantly being photographed, filmed and watched in a way most people aren’t.

Tom: For sure. I just have always kind of brushed it off, like, “Ah, I’m embarrassed.” But as I have learnt more about body dysmorphia, you realise it’s more than that. I am hyper-focused on it without even wanting to be, but I think, no matter how I feel or what weight I am, it doesn’t define my worth as a person. I’m just trying to show up for myself and understand that if I learn to be kinder to myself and try to live a healthy life physically and mentally, I can be in a better position to deal with that sort of issue.

Worth is so difficult to separate from appearance, especially with body dysmorphia. We’re flooded with photographs of celebrities on screen and influencers on social media who are often using filters, editing, lighting and makeup, to name only a few things, to look their best. We see it so often that we start thinking that WE should look like that, then feel bad when we don’t.

Being photographed when you’re already feeling low about your appearance can magnify that feeling and almost preserve it as a reminder: “here, take this permanent memento of how shit you look. With love - your brain'“. Continuing to appear on stage despite feeling this way is true bravery. I don’t even want to get out of bed, let alone show myself to a crowd of people all looking at me!

If I could speak directly to people with body dysmorphia, including myself, I’d want them to know that looks don’t determine your worth. You could be fucking beautiful and have the personality of a colander, for one! More importantly, look at the way you treat others. Are you constantly judging them for their “faults”? If a friend said, “man, I feel fat today”, what would you say? Most of us wouldn’t dream of saying “YEAH YOU LOOK TERRIBLE!” because appearance isn’t what controls how we feel about them; their whole person does, not just their looks.

Self acceptance doesn’t have to be faked by telling yourself “WOW IM SO GORGEOUS!”, it can start with removing the negativity from the way you talk about yourself, posting a picture, instead of saying “I look fat here but I’m just walking the dog” don’t apologise for yourself. Say “Here I am walking the dog!”

NEW GAME+

Loss, recovery and self-acceptance are inevitably become part of the art someone creates. Knowing what Tom has lived through is likely to change how we hear this album and I feel that “our most personal album yet” is a description Patient Sixty-Seven have earned rather than a promotional line.

Riff & Respawn: This new Patient Sixty-Seven record seems to have come out of a pretty important period of your life. Does releasing it feel different to anything you’ve put out before?

Tom: Very different. It’s about loss, love and addiction. It’s more lived experience than I’ve ever put into our music before. I think people will hopefully be able to connect with the emotional side of the record and the story being told. We’ve released one song so far, but there’s so much more to come. It’s a cliché to say it’s our most personal effort yet, but it really is. I put every ounce of myself into this album, and that’s what I trusted in throughout the process of writing and recording it.

Riff & Respawn: The band are heading into a massive new chapter with new music. If you had to describe the new Patient Sixty-Seven album using a game rather than another band, which one are you picking and why?

Lachlan: Probably a bit of a stretch, but I’d say Baldur’s Gate 3. Baldur’s Gate 3 gives you so much freedom to play the game however you choose, and there are no limitations on how you act or view things. I hope that’s how people view the album: everyone will perceive the album’s meaning differently or choose how they understand it, but ultimately everyone enjoys it all the same.

Riff & Respawn: On the opposite end of that, if you could put a Patient Sixty-Seven song into any game franchise, past or present, where would you want to hear it?

Lachlan: I definitely reckon “Lake Valley” could have fitted into any of the MX vs. ATV games.

I definitely feel the Baldur’s Gate 3 reference works well here; there are so many ways to interpret an album. Once released, a record belongs partly to each listener. We bring our own lived experiences to it alongside whatever the band intended, following different emotional routes through the same record.

I agree about “Lake Valley”, it would be a great soundtrack for ABSOLUTE CHAOS! The chorus would soundtrack my pursuit of winning, while the breakdowns would provide a brilliant backdrop to my many and varied physics-defying crashes… HA!

Riff & Respawn: How involved are you with the visual side of Patient Sixty-Seven? Heavy music fits so naturally with horror, films and gaming. Do those things ever creep into conversations when you’re deciding how a song or album era should look?

Lachlan: Having only just recently joined, I haven’t had too much involvement in it, but it was definitely a conversation they had—especially with the new album and songs, and wanting the artwork to be visually different from previous releases.

Riff & Respawn: Patient Sixty-Seven seem to have built a proper community around the band. I actually found you through the ridiculous number of memes on Facebook, and I love them. Do you think gaming communities and heavy music have that same thing where people find somewhere they feel like they belong?

Lachlan: Absolutely, they do. The street team is a good reflection of that because it’s such a tight community where everyone comes together to look after one another and share their love for the band and heavy music.

I originally found Patient Sixty-Seven through their ridiculous memes on social media and instantly connected with them. The band felt approachable and human, which made me want to learn more and ultimately,… reach out for an interview!

I think an audience can become a genuine community very quickly when the members of a band feel like people they can relate to - especially in such a fun way! I feel like part of the journey rather than purely a follower.

“Looking after one another” is such an important phrase in Lachlan’s answer. Communities are a huge part of why bands can become successful and when the relationship feels one-sided, the effort fans put in can feel unrewarded. It’s a two-way street and I think Patient Sixty-Seven give as much as they receive from their community.

It’s rare to see this, especially with a band whose reach is growing so quickly! I can relate to it through my own communities, first as a streamer and now with Riff & Respawn. It’s important to keep a connection alive with the people who become part of the reason you keep doing what you’re doing and why it succeeds!

Riff & Respawn: You’ve got the new record coming, a new label chapter and a lot more eyes on the band now. What do you think someone who only knows one or two Patient Sixty-Seven songs is going to discover about you on this album?

Lachlan: I think they’re going to discover that beyond the memes are four dudes who just have such a burning passion for music and want to show the world what we have to offer.

FINAL BOSS

We’ve definitely gone on a journey together in this interview, worthy of a Tolkien saga… now it’s time to finish in true Riff & Respawn fashion… some good old-fashioned nonsense!

If memes alone were a reason to play a game, sign me up for the playtest because I can imagine the Patient Sixty-Seven instalment to be a fun one!

Riff & Respawn: Final boss question: unlimited budget, Patient Sixty-Seven gets its own game. What kind of game is it, who are we fighting, and which member of the band is absolutely dying first?

Lachlan: I reckon a four-player zombie-survival game would be pretty funny for us. I’ve gotta throw myself under the bus as well and say I’d be the first one to die because I’m just tall and uncoordinated.

I’m sorry Lachlan but tall and uncoordinated means you’re one of the first to die, the gorgeous hair also means it needs some messing up! I think it’s brave of you to admit that you KNOW you wouldn’t be the “final girl”, but maybe that’s justified by your apparent lack of survival instinct!

I MIGHT have considered saving you but after that Shutter Island answer, I’d probably use you for my OWN escape… if it weren’t ME who was actually hunting you down! You’d make good zombie bait and I’d sell your bass on the black market for more health packs and FOOD!

I think your drummer might make have the best chance of making a last stand. We’re used to hitting things, dexterous with long implements and considering the amount of kit we move around - which NO ONE helps with, pretty strong too. Drummers live in the background without much praise, but that also means we can slip away undetected, stealth mode!

Riff & Respawn: Last one, and back to gaming before I make this too deep. Patient Sixty-Seven gets turned into a PS1 game. What kind of game is it, and what completely useless special ability does Tom have?

Tom: Probably a side-scrolling fighting game, haha. My special ability would be… maybe not screaming—that’s too obvious. Maybe a microphone that doubles as a weapon somehow. Or summoning bass players on command. We’d think of something fun, for sure!

I think it depends whether the microphone had a wire or not, you’d be FUCKED in the age of wireless but you could probably take a few enemies out with the old-school wired mic formed into a trip wire or some kind of trap/strangulation device!

I do, however, think your beautiful hair and vocals combined, would lull the enemy into a trance. They’d be too enthralled by you to do much - you’re safe. I’m sticking with you!

Summoning bassists seems to explain Patient Sixty-Seven’s personnel changes… You might need another when I’m done roasting Lachlan for not watching the film tied to the band he’s currently in….

HUGE thanks to Tom and Lachlan, and all of Patient Sixty-Seven, for the incredible music that soundtracks both my in-game and real life in equal measure. I cannot WAIT to hear the new album! If it’s anything like “A Stitch in Time Saves None”, then we’re in for a real fucking treat. I hope to catch up with Patient Sixty-Seven - and their new bassist, if Lachlan doesn’t watch the bloody film - when the album lands.

That’s one I HAVE to review!

PLAYER 2: YOUR TURN

If Patient Sixty-Seven got the unlimited-budget game treatment, what genre would you choose, what completely useless special ability would you give each member—and who’s dying first?

SUPPORT

This interview discusses alcohol addiction, recovery, body dysmorphia and mental health. If any of these subjects have affected you, you do not have to deal with them alone.

• NHS: Body dysmorphic disorder—symptoms, treatment and finding help
• Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation: information and support groups
• NHS: Alcohol support services — Drinkline: 0300 123 1110
• Alcoholics Anonymous Great Britain — free helpline: 0800 917 7650
• Samaritans — call 116 123 free, any time
• Outside the UK: Find A Helpline lists verified support services in more than 175 countries.

If you need urgent mental-health support in the UK, call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option. If you or somebody else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.

Co-op or PvP? Patient Sixty-Seven Press Start…